


Pay grade

by countermeasures



Category: James Bond (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Brotping in the lab, Gen, M/M, Post-Skyfall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2012-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-19 09:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/571840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/countermeasures/pseuds/countermeasures
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q, Eve, Tanner and M are at MI6 headquarters after hours while Bond is out in the field.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pay grade

**Author's Note:**

> Aye. Cookies are underway!

It was late, MI6 headquarters was becoming quiet, but Q was still hard at work. Eve had walked into the lab to bring back the remnants of the equipment he had given to Bond on the last mission.

"This is above my pay grade."

Eve laughed. "Nothing is above your pay grade, Q."

"It should be."

"You say that every time he's broken something." Tanner was supposed to be cataloging shrapnel, but he had given up and joined them in the lab. "Can't you write some code so this can be automatically put in the database? All I see is shrapnel!”

"We have to keep you busy with something, Tanner." Nobody had noticed that Mallory had walked onto the floor and Tanner nearly fell from his chair when he suddenly heard his voice right behind him.

The Chief of Staff recovered quickly. "Of course, Sir, but… it's after hours and it's a tedious activity, that's all. Can't this wait until the morning?"

"Well, 007 just left on a mission this morning, so we have to be on standby. We'll be swamped within no time." M smiled and took a beer from the bottle crate.

"Are you sure we should be drinking then, sir?" Eve asked.

Q stifled a laugh. "Like that stopped us before. Remember Argentina?"

Even M couldn’t hold back the laugh. “Good god, I still can’t believe we got him out of there. He was so cocky and stubborn not wearing a bulletproof vest because it messed with his look!”

“It was a good call though, seeing how that girl was attached to his hip right after.” Eve looked at Q immediately after she’d said it and mouthed, ‘I’m sorry,’ but Q didn’t let anything on. He was used to remarks like this by now. Bond had a past, and it was hard finding somebody at MI6 who didn’t know about it. Q actually preferred it this way; it was easier for them to keep their secret.

“Maybe he wouldn’t cock it up so often if he’d pay more attention to the mission and less to the surroundings,” M said; “that take-down could have gone much quicker.”

“Guys,” they were all startled by Bond’s voice. “You realise I can hear you, right?”

"You're supposed to announce your presence, 007." Tanner replied.

"I'm trying, but interrupting your tea party is harder than I thought." Bond said, the annoyance in his voice palpable.

"It's not like we're saying anything you haven't heard before, Bond," M started. "We don't just sit here and wait for you to screw up without doing anything."

While Bond, Tanner, and M were going back and forth, Q had been typing away on the computer. "Eve, you might want to see this."

She walked over to him, surprised that Q had continued working. "What is it, Q? Don't tell me you are actually working."

He didn't say a word, all he did was turn his screen slightly so she could see better. Clearly ‘working’ wasn’t quite the right term to describe what Q'd been doing. She started giggling and in no time the two of them couldn't stop laughing. M and Tanner had stopped paying attention to Bond, and after seeing the feed that Q had tapped into, they started laughing too.

"Good god, what the hell is going on there!" Bond had always claimed he couldn’t care less what others were up to, but he sounded very annoyed at being left out of the loop.

"James, is there any specific reason you're checking in now?" Eve asked the agent when she had caught her breath, before going into another laughing fit when she saw Q wiping away his tears.

“Yes, Bond, anything in particular you have to say?” Tanner chimed in, followed by M asking Bond why he chose this mission to actually follow protocol.

“What’s this, four against one? Very mature.”

“I think your jet lag is talking, Bond.” Q responded to the accusation. “I haven’t said a word to you!”

“You mentioned Argentina and after that you went silent.” Bond worked with Q long enough to know that was a bad sign. “That’s what worries me most. What did you do?”

“Have you tried flipping the key card around, Bond?” Q had trouble keeping the laughter from his voice.

They saw Bond looking around, and he had quickly spotted the security camera. "You've got to be kidding me, you overeducated twat! You tapped into the hotel security? Are you messing with my door?" He had turned the card over and finally went into his room, disappearing from Q's screen.

Bond's reaction led to another explosion of laughter at headquarters. "You're no fun when you're the joke!" Eve tried to sound disappointed, but the smothered giggles gave her away.

"Did you manage to check the room before you had your fun, Q?" Bond could've hit himself for being so absent minded that he didn't notice the camera, but he wouldn't give them the satisfaction of hearing the slap on the phone.

"All's clear, 007," Q replied professionally. "Get some sleep. Five hours before target's time of arrival."

"Fine." The rustling that they suddenly heard over the speaker in the lab made it clear Bond had taken off his shirt. "Try to stay sober, I might be needing you."

"Too late," Tanner replied, but all they heard was the sound of running water. Bond had stepped into the shower without bothering to disconnect.

*

The gunshots and blasts were so loud that the speakers in the lab were having a hard time with it. Bond had walked into a trap and was surrounded by several enemies. Q, Eve, Tanner, and M all stood staring at the big screen, trying to find a way to help.

"007, how many are there?" M wanted to know.

"Ten, fifteen, I didn't stop to count." Bond had found a sheltered spot where he could oversee the big square in the middle of town. "Can you see me?"

"Sorry, Bond, can't get a good satellite." Q was constantly flipping between screens, trying to get anything. "We're still flying blind. I'm sorry, you're on your own for now."

Eve was talking on the phone, trying to get into contact with the local authorities. "James, back-up is on its way. ETA five minutes."

"They'll be too bloody late," Bond grumbled. "I can't find anything. Are you sure Philips said it was here?"

"Yes, Bond, I'm not a complete idiot." Tanner re-checked the intel. "If you are where you say you are then you should be where he said it would be."

The others turned to stare at the Chief of Staff. Eve was the first to speak. "How is it even possible you're still functioning like you are? That sentence isn't even pronounceable sober!"

"Years of practice, Moneypenny. I didn't drink that much, though." Tanner had stepped closer to the screen when Q pulled up a video feed. "Go via the alley, Bond. You can walk to your hotel from there."

"Sir, I found something," Bond ignored Tanner's advice and got M's attention.

"Well, what is it? We're on the clock here, 007." M never liked games and the timbre of his voice made this obvious.

"Someone is a better description, actually. I found Philips. At least parts of him." 

Q had spotted Bond on the feed and saw the agent squatting against a wall, taking deep breaths. "Are you okay, Bond?"

“There is no time to break down right now, 007.” M said. “You can process it all when you’re back in the hotel. Can you take the body to a secure location?”

"Clearly he was made somehow, I've got to assume none of the secure locations are secure." Bond's voice sounded a bit unsteady, but mainly surprised about his discovery.

"James, find a bag and take it to the hotel." Eve was calm and tried to get through to Bond. "I've been in contact with the local authorities and you can give everything you found to the agent that will be waiting for you at the front desk."

"It's already bagged." It was clear that Bond thought the plan was insane. "How will I know who to look for?"

"Do you trust the people behind the desk to tell you the truth?"

"I trust them enough."

"Ask them where you can find Marcus and they'll point you to the agent." Eve had it all worked out. "I also made sure there's a cold scotch waiting for you, you look like you need it."

"Thanks, Moneypenny."

"Remember this moment the next time I tell you to do something you don't want to." 

They watched Bond carefully pick up the bags, walk to his hotel, and make the drop. They lost him on the camera when he went to his hotel room.

James saw the drink, and drowned it. "Moneypenny? You're a keeper," he said more to himself, but he still knew she was listening at HQ.

He poured another one and took it to the bathroom with him; and then let the cold water wash away the gruesome image of Philips. He crashed on the bed, suddenly too tired to dry off properly, and fell into a troubling sleep. 

*

"Bond!" Both Q and Tanner were yelling into the phone to try and get Bond's attention. "Earth to Bond, this is your wake-up call. We've got work to do!" 

They heard movement over the comms and after a moment they had Bond on the line. "Did you find anything about Philips?"

"Yes, we have. 007, are you ready for a take-down?" M knew the answer before he asked the question, but he asked it nevertheless.

"Yes, sir," Bond shook the dream out of his head. "I only need to find my pants and my holster and then I'm ready to have some fun."

M quickly went over the briefing. "We have all the information we need. Take them down, for Philips."

"Yes, sir. With pleasure." They had gotten to one of MI6's finest, this had become personal.

"Just try and get yourself back in one piece." Q had waited until M had walked out of earshot to say something.

He heard Bond take a deep breath, and when he answered, Q knew Bond wasn't joking. "I'll do my best. Guide me through."

The actual take-down went much easier than anybody had expected. The men they'd captured during the first run-in talked and gave everybody up very quickly. Within minutes men had started to surrender, they were talking before they were even in the cars of the police. It took Bond somewhat longer to find the management of the operation, but Q guided him to them and they surrendered before Bond had the chance to do some serious harm.

"Well, that was easy." Bond commented when he put them in the van. "A bit too easy. What did I miss?"

"They squealed like pigs while you were out cold," Tanner explained. "Somebody," his eyes cut to Q, "somebody suggested we'd let you sleep to process everything, but Eve convinced us that you had to be the one to bring in the big names. She knows what it's like not to be there for the end of a mission."

"She's right." They heard him talk briefly to one of the men on the scene before he returned his attention to his ear piece. "Thanks for that, Eve. And Tanner, stop saying 'they squealed like pigs', it will never catch on."

*

"Why are you so grumpy?" All Q heard was sighing and grumbling behind him. Bond had returned from the mission and was waiting for Q to wrap things up. "Are you actually angry that you brought those men in alive?"

"Sometimes a trigger needs to be pulled, Q." Bond knew the feeling was bad, but he couldn't help it. He hadn't shot a gun in too long and it made him antsy. 

"Then go to the gun range and shoot some cardboard. I'll meet you at home."

"I'll pick up the pizza. Good night, Eve," Bond called into the lab, "night, Bill." He smiled when he saw Tanner wake up with a jolt, not used to anybody calling him Bill, ever.

"Goodnight, James." Eve smiled. "Go easy on those cut-outs, they're defenseless!"

"Yes, Moneypenny."

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing, I get nothing.


End file.
